Introduction to Tour De Frump + Thrilling "Rest Day" Post

Introduction 

 Welcome to Tour de Frump, a blog where I attempt to convey to you my sweaty & out of shape enjoyment of cycling. (Emphasis on the sweaty.) 

Isn't blogging an oldfashioned thing that old people do? Yes it is, but I am old, Father William, and thus excellently qualified. And what better way to maximize the fewest number of possible readers than blogging now when no-one cares.

Why cycling of all things? Well, I am new to the enjoyment of cycling.  I am not new to cycling itself, however. I rode my bike to and from school for at least 10 years if not more. I hadn't touched a bike in almost two decades when two years ago, on a crazed fitness kick I bought a used bike off Craigslist. I rode it twice, and then it sat, flat-tired and spider-loved in our garage until last Friday.  A sudden burst of inspiration got me dusting-off and de-spidering my bike, and I rode gingerly up and down my street. And then I went for another ride on Saturday. Then again on Sunday, then Monday, then Tuesday. It just kept happening! 

As I was riding (and because I am nothing if not a narcissist) I began posting on Facebook about my progress, which in and of itself I found to be kind of motivating and fun if not boring for the rest of the people looking on (who hadn't unfollowed me). That's where I came up with the name Tour de Frump.  

The blog came about because of my lovely coworker Laura. She said that she and her husband liked reading my Facebook updates about riding and that I should write a blog. And normally I'd think 'Uh huh yep totally will do that. NEVER.'  Because I'm the laziest person on the planet. Any idea that involves me doing something regularly that is not a) eating or b) sleeping is a hard sell for me psychologically. But the compliment stayed with me (like I said, total narcissist) and I started thinking that maybe it's not a bad idea. So here I am.

Well, okay then what changed with the cycling thing? Why do you suddenly love it when you didn't like it last time? How is this time going to be any different than 2 years ago? (Why yes I am Katie Couric, and yes I do I love asking and answering my own questions. Get used to it). Enjoyment, I think is the main reason. This time it's purely voluntary, and it's something that is making me happy (well right now, at least).  It didn't make me happy last time. Last time it was a fitness/weightloss albatross around my neck.  Which is what put me off; that and riding in traffic scared the crap out of me. (Still does, as you will see).

But maybe the biggest catalyst for me pulling the bike out of the spider farm is that this is the first year that I've taken an interest the Tour de France. Seeing the pure athleticism and endurance and love for the sport that the riders show (with or without synthetic assistance, yes yes blah blah I know #livestrong etc) --  the Tour has absolutely fed my enthusiasm to get out and ride a bike this time around. My coworker Rob is a cycling nut (term of endearment) and he has been wonderful to geek out with; I've learned a lot about the sport from him just in the last couple of weeks, and he has inspired my enjoyment so much - the Master Po to my Caine (but alive, not murdered and seen only in flashbacks...nevermind, you get what I mean).  My other added inspiration is my new favorite rider, Slovakia's Peter Sagan. He is very handsome and is kind of a nutbar and is ahem very motivating ... 

...and ridiculously good at riding bikes, I mean watch this video holy christ

Peter Sagan Bombs Down a Mountain

Right? 

So without further ado: Ladies and Gentlemen, meet my ride: This is Freya, my Giant Cypress Hybrid  (sorry for the blurry snap):

Freya is so named for the Viking goddess & giant who was seven times as tall as the tallest man, and yknow, my bike being a Giant and all, the named seemed fitting #nerd

Tour de Frump is devoted to my learning to love cycling. My goal is enjoyment, period. If weight loss and fitness come along as a result, that is a nice side-bonus. But enjoyment is my most important focus, and on a daily/weekly basis, I'll be reflecting on this - am I enjoying myself? How could I enjoy myself more?  Along with other questions like: How sweaty am I? Could I be sweatier? How much lycra is too much?

So, onto my first update. 

REST DAY

 Today was originally planned to be a riding day but turned into a Rest Day due to unforeseen circumstances ie me being comically unable to fit my bike in the back of the car. Have I told you I’m hilarious?

My brilliant plan was so perfect, so simple:   “Oh I’ll throw the bike in the back of the car and then after work I’ll go ride the beautiful American River Bike trail”.

It was doomed from the start. I went to bed late, which meant I woke up late, which meant I was not in the mood for any tomfoolery of any kind…including waking up. Even putting down the seats and getting the bike out of the garage was pissing me the hell off… it was clear this was not going to go well. I lift up the bike and put it in the car. And move it around. And move it around some more. And swear. Something pings and something scratches my arm and something pokes me and I shove the bike and try to close the rear door. Sad trombone. 

Closing it by force would put the handlebars through the window and or bend the bike… ie throwing a tantrum right now would mean Lucy doing a loooooooooot of splaining. 

I’m already late for work and this shit is taking way too long so I say fuck it. Yank the bike out of the stupid car and stomp it back to the stupid garage, stomp back to the stupid car and put the stupid seats down and get in the stupid car and drive to stupid work, sans bike. Sans beautiful American River Bike Trail.

I bought the bike used off Craigslist and I clearly remember putting it in the back of the car to get it home. I CLEARLY REMEMBER THIS! On closer inspection throughout the day that clear memory became clearer and may have involved me propping the rear wheel of the bike up on the folded down seat so that I could fit it in the car. Which *ding* lightbulb helped events later in the day. 

Why abandon riding altogether. I could ride after work anyway when I get home… but the whole point of my Beautiful American River Bike Trail idea was to remove the city from my cycling equation. I realized after yesterday's ride around my neighborhood that I don’t like swooshing traffic;  as Grandmaster Flash would say, broken glass EVerywhere;  people can be dicks when they drive; and it's overshadowing my enjoyment. And enjoyment is my new rule.  So if I’m not enjoying myself then I’m going to problem-solve it so that I can enjoy myself. Hence the Beautiful American River Bike Trail idea. *sniff*

So there was no riding tonight. But I made it productive nonetheless. In my four days of riding the catalog of annoying things that need fixing was getting kinda long, so I visited the local bike shop for a repair, an adjustment, and a couple of new toys. 

And yes, visiting the bike shop meant another attempt at loading the bike into the car. And I'm happy to report that Attempt # 2 was a resounding success. My *ding* lightbulb memory of propping up the wheel on the folded seat was all that was needed. AND I didn't break anything AND I barely swore.

Bike Shop Achievements:

• Rear tire had a slow leak -- was losing 10 or so psi overnight, and was getting more and more spongey with each day's riding. So the lovely Bike Boy replaced the tube. 
• Nose of the saddle is pushing into (cough) Her Majesty in an OW repeated OW way, so I asked Bike Boy to tilt the nose of the saddle down slightly. I dunno if it's quite far enough, but I watched him do it so now I can try it myself if it's not quite right. (That pressure in the Her Majesty region could also mean my handlebars may be be too low, but I'm going to sit with the seat change first and see if that makes the difference, rather than adjusting too many things all at once.)
• Gross sticky grips. My grips are gross and sticky. They’re made of spongy material, and when it gets warm my hands stick to them in a really gross way. I have to wash my hands after riding which, ew, no. Bike Boy said that since the bike is used the stickiness is just wear and tear that happens to grips over time - the only solution is replacing them. So I'll add that onto my next to-do list. It's gross but I can live with it for a little while. I don't wanna go too crazy with the $$ yet, it's only my first week.
• Bell! Freya now has a shiny bell. After being belled at semi-regularly while walking on the trail over the years, I'm looking forward to bell-ing others. 
• Water bottle holder! Freya now equipped for mobile hydration! Wee.

 Catalog of Other Things I Want/Need

• Bike shorts. I ordered my first pair of padded bike shorts off Amazon today. Which should be hilarious. I’ve learned that you’re meant to wear them without underwear which skeeves me out but hey, when in Rome with the cycling weirdos you ride commando, apparently.
•  Flashing lights. Definitley high on the importance list. I don’t plan to ride at night but if I get caught at dusk I don’t want to get creamed by a roided out mountain biker.
• Some kind of little mileometer/timer that I can see while I ride. I like metrics. How far? How long? Can I stop now?

Anyway, Stage 17 of the Tour De France is still waiting on my DVR and I've been writing this instead of watching that, so it's time for me to go and see what's up. Geddit? Stage 17 = Alp stage, mountain racing, what's up? I kill me.

Frump Out. <3