Exciting times in Frumpville - my shiny new padded bike shorts arrived in the mail this weekend. I ended up going with Aero Tech Classic Padded Bike Shorts (shown here on someone who appears to have had their pelvis surgically removed)
Aero Tech were one of the few brands I could find that had a good range of plus size options, and that weren't crazy expensive. There are a few popular brands that carry a size or two bigger than xl, but athletic brands are usually the worst offenders at offering token plus sizes, ie where an xxl is like a 14 - and ain't nobody got time for that. These ran me about $40 including shipping, and whaddya know, they fit no problem. Nice high waistband so I don't get any annoying elastic foldover flap action, and they hit just a bit lower than mid thigh.
To my twisted brain it looks kinda like Zorak from Spaceghost Coast To Coast:
But on the bike, it feels fine, not really weird at all. Extra padding in the bum area, and the padding extends all the way through the 'frontal region', which is what I was looking for. I tested them out and I can say two thumbs up!
Thanks Zorak!
I suppose I should address the 'omg you're ACTUALLY wearing bike shorts' elephant in the room (so to speak, haha). The last time I wore lycra bike shorts out in the world I was 12 with legs like toothpicks, unironically wearing them with a Fido Dido tshirt and a side ponytail. As a 12 year old in 1988, there was no reason NOT to wear bike shorts.
As a plus-sized 39 year old frump in 2015, lycra bike shorts are meant to be feared like mice or spiders or brazilian waxing. As a girthy lady I'm supposed to obsessively 'disguise' what god gave me with yards of flowy fabric like I'm some kind of wedding marquee on a windy beach. But all those stupid calculations fat people are supposed to do with proportion and how you're 'supposed' to look go out the window on a bike. Comfort is queen. Loose pants or shorts are horribly uncomfortable on bikes. Seams are the worst. Cotton absorbs sweat and feels gross. Breathable fitted bike shorts are suddenly insanely practical.
The other thing is when I began Tour de Frump, I made a deal with myself that how I looked on the bike was not allowed to be a factor. Once I got on the bike, I could be mindful of HOW I was riding, WHERE I was riding, but under no circumstances was OMG I MUST LOOK HIDEOUS allowed to come along for the ride. No glancing at my passing reflection, no mentally withdrawing into my shell every time I heard a car approaching.
That was the thing I remember most about riding last time,obsessing over what I must have looked like, or riding for a while and feeling great and then seeing myself in a window and turning into Yertle the Turtle. It's like my self image was a giant bunch of balloons tied to the back of my bike. All it did was slow me down. So I decided nope, no balloons this time. Cut them adrift and let them float off into the sunset.
It's so much easier to ride without dragging all that shit around with me.
I will say that this headspace is something I've been working on for a while now, My newly-acquired mantra is one I learned from the great RuPaul - "What anyone else thinks of me ain't none of my business." It's not an easy place to get to, and not everyone can do it on their own --but just twisting the AM radio dial on the crummy voice in your head that's beating you down is a huge gamechanger.
Okay, that's enough Oprah-ing.
Heatwave predicted for this week -- 108 in Sacramento by Wednesday (ugh). I dunno that I'm crazy enough yet to bike in that kind of heat so I doubt that I'll be hittting the Beautiful American River Bike Trail til later in the week.
Which reminds me: I forgot to include a picture to show why I'm so in love with the trail. This is from last Thursday's ride. Gorgeous, huh?
Rest assured, when I do hit the trail again will be with VERY dialed-down expectations. Master Po (my coworker Rob) gave me some excellent advice: he said always keep the ride back to the car in mind, not just the main route. And this, which I think is the best advice: always aim to finish with gas in your tank. He said when you get in your car to leave you should be thinking, ‘I could have ridden further’. So that will be my goal going forward.
I'm going to be just like Bill Murray in What About Bob
As a plus-sized 39 year old frump in 2015, lycra bike shorts are meant to be feared like mice or spiders or brazilian waxing. As a girthy lady I'm supposed to obsessively 'disguise' what god gave me with yards of flowy fabric like I'm some kind of wedding marquee on a windy beach. But all those stupid calculations fat people are supposed to do with proportion and how you're 'supposed' to look go out the window on a bike. Comfort is queen. Loose pants or shorts are horribly uncomfortable on bikes. Seams are the worst. Cotton absorbs sweat and feels gross. Breathable fitted bike shorts are suddenly insanely practical.
The other thing is when I began Tour de Frump, I made a deal with myself that how I looked on the bike was not allowed to be a factor. Once I got on the bike, I could be mindful of HOW I was riding, WHERE I was riding, but under no circumstances was OMG I MUST LOOK HIDEOUS allowed to come along for the ride. No glancing at my passing reflection, no mentally withdrawing into my shell every time I heard a car approaching.
That was the thing I remember most about riding last time,obsessing over what I must have looked like, or riding for a while and feeling great and then seeing myself in a window and turning into Yertle the Turtle. It's like my self image was a giant bunch of balloons tied to the back of my bike. All it did was slow me down. So I decided nope, no balloons this time. Cut them adrift and let them float off into the sunset.
It's so much easier to ride without dragging all that shit around with me.
I will say that this headspace is something I've been working on for a while now, My newly-acquired mantra is one I learned from the great RuPaul - "What anyone else thinks of me ain't none of my business." It's not an easy place to get to, and not everyone can do it on their own --but just twisting the AM radio dial on the crummy voice in your head that's beating you down is a huge gamechanger.
Okay, that's enough Oprah-ing.
Heatwave predicted for this week -- 108 in Sacramento by Wednesday (ugh). I dunno that I'm crazy enough yet to bike in that kind of heat so I doubt that I'll be hittting the Beautiful American River Bike Trail til later in the week.
Which reminds me: I forgot to include a picture to show why I'm so in love with the trail. This is from last Thursday's ride. Gorgeous, huh?
Rest assured, when I do hit the trail again will be with VERY dialed-down expectations. Master Po (my coworker Rob) gave me some excellent advice: he said always keep the ride back to the car in mind, not just the main route. And this, which I think is the best advice: always aim to finish with gas in your tank. He said when you get in your car to leave you should be thinking, ‘I could have ridden further’. So that will be my goal going forward.
I'm going to be just like Bill Murray in What About Bob
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