I've Always Been Crazy, It Keeps Me From Going Insane

First ride of the late spring-almost summer, back in the saddle again etc etc. I dragged my feet a LOT getting back out again, more because of my natural laziness than actual reasons. But ultimately it was retail therapy that eased me back onto the bike - the gods blessed me with an Amazon gift card that financed a new set of hand grips, a new comfy saddle and a little computerized odometer,and once I farted around all of last weekend installing the (expletives), it would have been a tragedy of narcissistic proportions NOT to go out for a ride. If only to hope that people were looking at me with renewed respect because of my prowess at a) buying things and b) attaching them to my bike.

Another motivation - Peter Sagan tweeted a pic from Lake Tahoe, training for the Amgen Tour of California next week. Weee! Ok. Motivated!

 


So I went out for a ride after work tonight, same route as last year, on the American River Trail from Parkshore to the overpass.  My fancy new right grip seemed a bit loose so I tightened it up, checked the tire pressure and off we went.

Set out for ooh about 30 seconds before clocking that my back tire was reaaaaaally mushy. I had half-assed the pressure test for that tire and I knew it. It seemed odd that it was the *perfect* psi after 6 months of not riding, but did I squeeze-test it before I set out? Nooooo.

So I re-inflated and set out again. It felt lovely getting out again and I was really feeling it for a while, but then I started getting distracted, because my right hand grip was still loose. GRR. It kept moving around and it was bugging the hell out of me. And my front wheel was rubbing against my brake pad which meant that it was slightly off alignment RAGH. Stuff like that gets in my head and I start getting OCD like it's not PERFECT why isn't it PERFECT goddammit I can't do anything right, full-on shame spiral... yeah I'm a mess.

I was trying to go slow and take it easy, knowing that I might hit the wall like I did last year if I went too hard too quickly. But I'm super unfit. The merest incline leaves me heaving like a bilge pump no matter how easy I take it. Plus I'm all in my head about the grip and the tire and I just know I'm not drinking enough water and I'm starting to feel not great. 

I find a place to stop and gather myself for a little spell, til I'm calm again and breathing normally. I head back, figuring it's better to just start heading back than to push any further and get myself in trouble. Taking it nice and easy, but the bloody goddamn right grip that won't stay put and the tire making that noise and I'm so in my head at this point it's just getting a bit beyond me. I stop and walk again for a bit, and finally get back to the car and I'm in ok shape. Sweaty and a bit tired but not feeling lightheaded or anxious or weird. 

But then I decided that NOW was a great time to try to get the bike back in the car. I'd rested up for a little bit, but in retrospect not quiiiiiiite enough. Wrestling with the bike just broke me out in a shaky dizzy sweat and that was pretty much it. I sat in the car for a while, hydrated, cooled off  and fought  the urge to take a long pouty sad nap. 

So. Not a terrible first outing, if I'm honest. It's not great to you, but my bar is waaaay lower than yours. My positive take away is that I'm better at knowing the signs to look for, knowing when to stop and not bonking on the actual ride itself. I'm getting better at shifting and my hills are a little better than they were last year, which I'm kind of proud of. Mainly I think my pre-cycling nutrition needs some work. I had been doing cliff bars and/or bananas last year and those seemed to work really well -- the new hippie bars I ate before my ride today just didn't quite cut it nutritionally, so I think going back to the tried and true foods is a safer option. 

Part of me is like, Jeez Louise ya big wimp, it's only a 20 minute ride it's not like you're doing a 3 hour ride. But the other part of me is like, Um blow it out your ear, I'm unfit and out of shape and I need to pay close attention to this kind of stuff now so that I don't completely deter myself from riding altogether. It's supposed to be fun! And I'm determined to continue trying to make it so

Frump out.